How To Give Constructive Feedback To Employees

Providing insight to employees on their behavior and performance is one of the most important responsibilities of a manager. Without direct and timely feedback, employees, and the teams they are part of, will suffer. In this post, we will explore how to give constructive feedback to employees effectively, including sample talking points and troubleshooting tips.

What is constructive feedback?

Constructive feedback shouldn't be tricky concept. You are probably thinking, "of course I know what constructive feedback is." And, you are right, on paper the definition of constructive feedback isn't confusing; something along the lines of the following is probably agreeable to most: insights received about an action with the intent to improve future outcomes.

In practice, though, constructive feedback seems to become quite problematic for many leaders. In my coaching and management experience, I hear far too often, "Oh, yes, I've given Peter many clear examples of how to improve. He is well aware of the expectations I have of his performance." Yet, when I sit down with "Peter" and his manager it is immediately obvious that Peter is clueless about the expectations placed upon him.

How is "Peter" clueless? Simple. His manager, in an effort to make the situation more comfortable for everyone, has muddied the communication waters with nicites and generalizations. The message about performance expectations has become utterly obscured. What I discover is the manager has usually uttered something along the lines of, "Hey, Peter. I just wanted to pop by to see if you had any questions about our standard on client communications. I heard you had a challenging call the other day. If you have questions or need help, just let me know."

Dear Manager: your need to be comfortable and liked is getting in the way of your ability to lead. Delivering clear, direct feedback is critical to the success of everyone around you...yourself included. Don't sacrifice growth for comfort.

Nancy Stewart, Talent Alchemists

So, let's get clarity on how to give constructive feedback to employees clearly, effectively, respectfully.

Setting the stage

Prior to a feedback meeting, ensure both the environment and your mental state are "organized" for an effective conversation. To be organized means:

• Deal with your anger, and other strong emotions, before the meeting. As the leader, you need to be calm and collected so your message is heard. Passion to solve the problem is good, attacking an employee's action from a place of anger is unproductive.
• Practice your talking points. You can also have some bullet points to refer to during the meeting. Use tools you need to convey your message clearly.
• Arrange for a one-on-one meeting; constructive criticism should always be heard first in private (and often will remain private).
• Remove physical barriers between you and the employee. Do not sit behind a desk or at the end of a table. Position chairs so you are facing each other, while remaining a comfortable personal distance (sitting too close to someone can be unsettling).
• Confirm with yourself that you are providing feedback to a recent event; waiting weeks to share feedback is counterproductive. (if you find yourself waiting a long time to provide input to an employee, you are giving a strong signal that you need to get more comfortable with delivering feedback.)

The feedback meeting

Once you've 'set the stage' you are ready for the meeting. The following steps will help you navigate a potentially difficult conversation by diffusing defenses and focusing on behaviors, as opposed to personality traits.

1. Ask the employee if they are open to receiving feedback. This is a key first step to establishing a respectful meeting and conveys the notion that this dialogue is a partnership to solve problems. If the employee states they aren't in the right headspace to hear feedback, let them know you will schedule time with them the next business day. (and, of course, get that on the calendar ASAP).
   • What this sounds like: "Thank you for meeting with me, Peter. As you know I scheduled this meeting to discuss your client call on Monday. Are you open to hearing feedback about that call right now?"
2. Dive right in to your meeting agenda. Don't talk about the weather or other fluff...your employee is probably nervous at this point and chit-chat is only going to exacerbate that feeling. Rip off the band-aid.
   • What this sounds like: "Thank you for being open to some feedback from me. Let's review the situation. During that call, I noticed your voice was raised and you sounded quite frustrated with the customer. This is your quote I pulled from the call transcript: 'I've helped you like 5 times with this issue. The problem isn't with us but with your front desk staff who keep messing up the settings. Why are you yelling at me instead of them'."
3. Get confirmation from the employee they agree with the overview of the situation.
   • What this sounds like: "Is this an accurate overview of what transpired?"
4. Press on with the explanation of why this behavior or action isn't up to team standards.
   • What this sounds like: "As you know, the Customer Support Team motto is Listen, Respect, Solve. This call fell short of our team standard."
5. This step is where you find out what the employee is made of (if they haven't yet revealed that through their body language); this is when you get the employee's buy-in on the problem.
   • What this sounds like: "Peter, do you see how this client interaction was below our performance standard?"
     • If they say "yes," ask them how the could have handled this in a more effective manner.
     • If they reply "no," ask how they felt their behavior modeled team values. Correct them if they are off base. (Ultimately, as the manager, it's up to you to hold the employee accountable to team standards; if their interpretation of that standard is wrong, correct them. See troubleshooting tips below for more on how to handle this.)
6. Ask the employee to brainstorm solutions to avoid a repeat of this problem in the future.
   • What this sounds like: "Let's brainstorm alternative actions you could have pursued. If you are faced with this situation again, what can you do differently?"
7. Repeat the appropriate course of action discussed in step 6 and get the employee's agreement on that action plan.
   • What this sounds like: "Okay, I think we have a good plan in place. Moving forward, you will listen carefully to a client's complaints and take good notes in the system. If a client is escalated you will affirm with them that you hear their frustrations and ask to brainstorm solutions with them. If they remain escalated, you will ask if they would like to speak to a manager. If they are inappropriate, you will politely let them know you are ending the call and a manager will reach out to them within the hour. Also, any further outbursts with clients may result in further disciplinary action. Does this sound like our agreed upon plan and something you can commit to?"
8. End the conversation, if possible, on positive note about your meeting.
   • What this sounds like: "Thank you again for sitting down with me to discuss this situation. I appreciate you were open and receptive to feedback and that you took accountability for your behavior. I'm confident you have the skills to meet and exceed our standards moving forward. Reach out if I can help in your development path in any way."
9. Follow up with a summary email to the employee.
   • What this reads like: "Peter, thank you for meeting with me yesterday about your client call on April 10th. As we discussed, moving forward you will work to de-escalate a client by letting them know you hear them and working with them toward a solution. If necessary, you will get a manager's help with an escalated or inappropriate client. If our standard for Listen. Respect. Solve is not met moving forward, we will discuss further disciplinary actions. I'm confident, though, you will ace these calls moving forward. Reach out with questions or assistance."

Troubleshooting the feedback discussion

• Problem: Employee is talking too much.
  • Solution: Clip their dialogue with a polite interruption.
  • What this sounds like: "Peter, thank you for your perspective. I will give you some space to share more in a few minutes, but right now, I'm going to finish up on my thoughts."
• Problem: Employee isn't taking any accountability for their behavior and is blaming outside factors and/or other people.
  • Solution: Refocus the employee on the present situation and their involvement.
  • What this sounds like: "Peter, I understand there were others involved in this situation. I agree the client was angry and raised their voice. Right now, we are focused on your choices in this situation and brainstorming how you could have approached this differently."
• Problem: Employee wants to know how you are discipling other employees.
  • Solution: Bring the focus back to the employee
  • What this sounds like: "It sounds like Sandy had a similar client call on Thursday. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. Everyone is held to the same standard and I will look into any scenarios that don't meet our core values. I will also continue to respect everyone's privacy and won't discuss individual performance situations with other employees; just like this conversation between us will remain between us. Now, let's bring our focus back to your client call."
• Problem: Employee doesn't agree their behavior fell short of team standards.
  • Solutions: Ask how their action met the team standards. If they are off the mark, reiterate to them your disagreement and expectations. Set up time to review this with them on a regular basis. If they continue not to "get it" they are not a fit for the team.
  • What this sounds like: "I hear you; you feel your action was justified and aligned with our performance standards. I disagree. Respectful behavior toward a client does not include raising your voice. Problem solving with a client does not include shifting blame to their team. It is very important you understand what Listen. Respect. Solve. means to this team. I am going to add some time to our weekly one-on-ones so we can review this together in more detail."
• Problem: Employee isn't speaking.
  • Solution: Continue you on with your view point and expectations. When you need the employee's response and/or buy-in, sit quietly until they provide it. Nine times out of ten, they will chime in within 10 seconds. If they do outlast you in silence schedule a follow up meeting.
  • What this sounds like: "Peter, this meeting is meant to be a dialogue during which we brainstorm solutions together. I'm not sure if you aren't talking right now out of anger, you are upset, or something else is going on. Why don't you take an hour to collect your thoughts and we will pick this up at 2:00PM so you can share your thoughts."

After the feedback

Ideally, "Peter" corrects his behavior and this situation is in your rearview mirror. In reality, though, I'd estimate less than 40% of employees self-correct and further action is needed.

Many of these employees will resign, recognizing your environment of accountability is not for them. That is a good thing. For those that don't resign, as the manager you will need to determine the severity of their actions and the impact on the team. You may elect to coach them again with a more formal write-up; you may determine they need to be terminated. My advice is to take care of problems quickly. Even small problems fester and become messier issues. I am a fan of the phrase, slow to hire, quick to fire, but that is a blog post for another day.